Editorial: Oh! I’m a Feminist because I Can’t Cook.

I’m a lady with a morality that stands firm with women and strongly protest against real disasters. But that doesn’t define me as a ‘Modern Day Feminist’. Also being an anti-feminism does not define me as a human being. I am also many other things. I am not particularly fond of being considered an ‘anti-feminist’. I’d rather be considered ‘pro equality’. Feminists are people (many of whom are good friends of mine) who I believe mean well but have bought into a deeply flawed and harmful ideology. They believe that they are doing good things for women and our world as a whole. I cannot agree with that, but I am not trying to villainize individual people who follow this movement. I am not working to deconstruct, disassemble and replace feminism with an egalitarian rather I am focusing on gender neutral campaign to help all people, regardless of gender, race or sexual orientation. To the so called modern feminism, I have two simple responses. First, the oppression of women is not the only history of India. Second, tradition is never a good enough reason to continue to do something. Tradition alone will never be enough.

But, one might contradict saying, new feminism is pro equality already. Feminism already has whats best for both men and women in mind when it funds ad campaigns and charity events, creates social media content and when it heavily influences public policy. Let me clarify, feminism means equality. As a reaction to feminism there is a growing Men’s rights movements in India MRAs (men’s rights activists) fall on a spectrum, just like feminists.

Though I do support few factors, I strongly disagree to some and I’ll tell you why the revised Feminism spreads negative press about men and harms women by telling them that they are under constant threat of victimisation from male sexist oppressors, objectifiers and rapists every single day. Feminism uses slanted, incomplete statistical data (like the CDC study on sexual assault that conflates intimacy under influence of alcohol with rape) to spread false claims about female victimisation by men that also exclude many male victims. Modern day feminism by its very core definition tells the world that every man since the dawn of time has opposed every beloved mother, daughter, sister, aunt and grandmother in their lives through patriarchal control. Women are forever powerless and victimised under modified feminism’s ideology. And men are oppressive, violent and sexually predatious.

And yes, modern day feminism has drawn some much needed attention to the problems women face through awareness campaigns surrounding female victims of domestic violence, rape, FGM, sexual harassment on the job etc. But it ignores, downplays or often actively works to shut down matching advocacy for male victims of many of these crimes. Now Feminism wants to maintain a monopoly on money and sympathy for women only, not for men. Privileged women choose not to speak out because they feel guilty about all that they do have, the ‘it could be much worse’ mentality. Or when women do speak out, we are seen as victimising ourselves. It’s easy to undermine these feminist issues as cribbing, but at times, I accept they are vital. Because even if men and women are theoretically equal, it doesn’t mean a thing if we don’t hold equal status or influence in society, which we don’t but not certainly the way it has been proposed.

And yet men in our culture suffer equally (if at times from different issues) than women. Men are much more likely than women to commit suicide, many times  more likely to die on the job. They are almost as likely to be violently abused by an intimate partner or to be assaulted or raped. There are strict beauty standards for women that have them starving themselves and hating their bodies, but there are strict success standards for men that have them working 60+ hours a week at a dangerous and difficult job, away from their families in order to prove their worth as a provider. Each female concern has an equally important male counterpart, but the concept of modified feminism does not want the general public to know this.

I’m a supporter of equity and equality among the society but certainly every step taken towards the positive changes either judged or criticised as an act of feminism. It needs to be clarified that a woman doesn’t particularly need a tag of feminist to prove her point of existence. Along with that, there should be a equity when it comes to do justice to a man/woman unlike several hilarious cases of winning of feminism over judicial losses. In this way, the group is simply acting same as a terror to certain social holds.

Women were all feminists in the history anyway, because they were looking for the betterment of women and women’s lives, and were working for the liberation of their people. There were different definitions of feminism.

Few thinks if women go around identifying themselves as working for women, then when something goes wrong, men would be quick to point a finger and blame women for not using the assistance properly. And there the modern feminism came to the discussion. ‘Lets blame men first’ mentality overtook the real feminism.

An advocate friend of mine said that she was for ‘anything pro-women’ but she did not necessarily need to call herself a feminist. 

Another friend of mine who belongs to the elite group of society said that the word ‘feminist’ scared her; she was not a feminist. She asked, “What is it? What is the meaning?” Even though from her works, people called her a feminist.

A bold middle aged lady, I know, explained that she understood it as Western feminism, but if she had a wider understanding of the word, she would have a greater identification with it(This remark was bordering on the positive for sure and in support of the real definition of feminism). 

It was commonly said that feminism was a new word for some countries and women would be afraid to introduce it to the women they were working with. There would be some difficulty in introducing feminism due to modulated, modified and mutated versions of feminism almost killed it’d modesty turning out to become a terror.

Lets hold the flag of equity. Being a lady, we don’t need a tag of feminist to protest against a harassment. Our voice would be enough against the bully. And in the name of feminism, let the society focus on the real issues in favour of all, keeping the gender, class or cast discrimination aside. Feminism shouldn’t be an excuse to escape from reality rather it should be a strength. Nation is looking forward for a better revolution.

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